Personally, I had heard a lot about The Fat Duck in Bray, near Maidenhead, but I was honestly more scared than excited about visiting, what sounded to me, like a food lab. I had made my mind up that it was the exclusive reserve of the twenty to thirty something city boy with more money than sense, the film star or fabulously wealthy barrister.
All of the above are probably true, but when I walked into the restaurant, at 11.50am on a cold Tuesday in March, I started to think that the whole concept of The Fat Duck was some elaborate marketing ploy, hyped beyond any West End musical. Where was everyone? With staff outnumbering my wife and I six to one, I honestly felt that we were on our own.
However, within twenty minutes, the place was full. Heston Blumenthal, who surely needs no introduction, had placed a card on each table which talked of nostalgia, rhubarb and custard, and growing up. It was almost as if he had recreated the school dinner rush as part of his nostalgia trip – one minute the school dining room is empty, the next, everyone is sat at their tables, ready for the lunchtime prayer.
For those of you who have heard but not been, The Fat Duck, as a place, is easy to miss. On the main road in Bray, it is more tearoom than world famous restaurant. Inside, it is more two star than three Michelin Star. But that has to be part of the appeal. Never before had I felt so nervous about a meal. What do I do if I don’t like it? Will the man himself come and chop my head off if I dare to spit something out – and then stick an apple stuffed with prawns and covered in chocolate gravy in my mouth, and serve it as course nine of the tasting menu?
My fears were truly unfounded. What I experienced that day will live with me for the rest of my life. I don’t want to tell you too much – it will ruin the ending. The whole Fat Duck experience is an experience that no review, documentary or book could ever relay. It is a wonderful, delightful, slightly edge of the seat ‘trip’, in the safest sense of the word.
Read any review of the Fat Duck and it will mention some of the intriguing dishes, the critic will try and wow you with his connection with the creator, his understanding of what he has just experienced. I’m not even going to go there. You have to go there yourself, book it now, for next year if you are lucky, just make sure you do it. Add it to your list of ‘fifty things you must do before you die’, alongside visiting the Grand Canyon and having tea with the Pope - but be warned, it might be easier to get through to the latter!
